Discovering Ourselves
“Tell me about yourself.” You’d think that would be easy for someone to do. How could you not know yourself and who you are? But for so many years, I had no idea. I had plenty of messages from others about who I was, some good and some bad. The ones I internalized were mostly along the lines of not being good enough, not fitting in, not being wanted. So it’s not surprising that I didn’t know who I was.
Have you ever met someone who just fascinated you and you wanted to sit with them and get to know them better. You were keen to spend time with them and have fun together. Do you feel that way about yourself? We’re often told that this is ‘navel-gazing’ and narcissistic. Maybe it can be if you’re only concerned with yourself 100% of the time and don’t spend any time thinking about others, but I don’t think this is the norm for most of us. In fact, I think we will often do almost anything to avoid spending time with ourselves. We will consume food, alcohol, social media, watch hours of TV, shop for things we don’t need, fill our days with activities and busy work, or maybe create more serious addictions in order to distract ourselves from ourselves and our life. We’re afraid of what we might find in ourselves. Perhaps our worst fears about ourselves will be shown to be true and we don’t think we could deal with that. It seems like a much better idea to hide and cushion ourselves with substances and stimuli than to learn about who we are.
My friends, I want to tell you that you have nothing to be afraid of. You are worthy because you are alive. You don’t have to do anything to prove your worthiness, no matter what others may tell you. You are valuable because you exist. You have your own unique talents and strengths and the world will be a poorer place if you don’t live into this and use it.
Self-discovery is a journey and not an easy one. But it is so worthwhile and the rewards are great. The process of discovering and using your strengths and discovering and overcoming your flaws and weaknesses creates a deep sense of peace, calm, and contentment with yourself.
The last 10 years have been a process of discovery and creation of myself. Being surprised by my gifts and strengths. Learning that my weaknesses and flaws are not as bad as I thought. Discovering that I have a brain and am able to use it. That I have inner strength and drive to create new opportunities. That I have value and can make a contribution to the world. I’m smarter, stronger, and more worthy than I previously thought, which is a wonderful gift.
What I have learned: Don’t wait for others to tell you who you are, whether their message is positive or negative. All you will hear from them is their perception of you based on their own self-view and how you interact with that. You have to discover yourself for yourself. A positive message from others is great, but until you know who you are for yourself, your self-worth will be dependent on that message being constantly repeated. A negative message from others can shred us if we allow it to. If you know who you are, the opinions of others, whether positive or negative, will have little impact. Through this journey, I have seen an incredible difference in my feelings of self-worth and self-confidence. I wish the same for you with all my heart.